Bad jokes.

[Tyr]

Varför kallas vårt språk för modersmål?

Fadern får aldrig en syl i vädret.

[Birka]

På tal om dåliga vitsar. När övergår skämt till att vara härsket?

[Birka]

Vad kommer efter en H-fåne?
En I-phone.

[cyber]

Vad kommer efter en H-fåne?
En I-phone.

Så vi kör iphone-vitsar nu alltså?

—

My daughter want's the new iPhone for her birthday. I told her she will get one as long as she has good grades, does her chores, and follows the house rules. Otherwise she will get a cheaper phone, because...

It's my way or the Huawei.

—

Eller vad sägs om den här?

—

I (31m) just had the most uncomfortable experience of my life

I've always kinda wanted an iPhone but never had one before, so I go to the Apple Store to have a look. So there I am, when this middle aged guy comes up next to me, like really close. And then he starts asking me if I like the new iPhone, what do I think about the camera, am I thinking of getting one etc and I'm like "Yeah, it's pretty good." trying to play it cool because I don't wanna give away that there's no way I could even afford one if I wanted to. But then after a while, his comments start becoming personal, first complimenting my shoes and calling me a 'strapping young lad'. Now I'm quite weirded out but figure he's just new at sales and really bad at it.

But then I realised he's not a staff member, that he doesn't work there. So now I'm fully freaked out, this guy just came up to me and all up in my personal space, so I try to ignore him (but not trying to be subtle about it). I turn away, and get this, he sort of grabs my arm to turn me back and gives it a little squeeze and says something along the lines of "Ooh, you been hitting the gym yeah?". I turn to look at him and say "Excuse me, do not touch me" and quickly leave.

This guy catches up to me all apologetic, saying how sorry he is and he didn't realise he was annoying me and that. And as I'm about to say "Yeah okay fine whatever", he says "Listen, here's the thing. If you give me a blowjob, I will give you this new iPhone XS" and pulls out this new iPhone, box fresh. I was flabbergasted. I genuinely thought I'd misheard him, so had to clarify and said "What? You want me to suck you off for a phone? Really?!" And he smiled and nodded.

Some people are fucking disgusting. Makes me sick.

Sent from my iPhone.

[Karlsson766]

Hur vet du att en bil kommer från Jamaica?
Du ser det på reggaestreringsskylten.

[Tyr]

Vad ville nunnan ha till kaffet?

En munk.

[Birka]

Vad ville städerskan ha till kaffet?
En dammsugare.

[Birka]

Vad ville hästen ha till kaffet?
Havrekakor.

[Birka]

Vad är det för vitt som blir på marken när det kommer en hagelskur?
Skurpulver.

[Kalle4001]

Vilken är Indiens bästa barnlek?

Curry-gömma

[Birka]

Vem är den där knäppa katten?
Pelle sanslös.

[Birka]

-Vad tuggar du på lille vän?
-socker.
-men det knastrar ju inte.
-raggsocker.

[august]

Med tanke på att denna succétråd står för mer än 50% av inläggen på senare tid ser jag det som bara en tidsfråga innan vi borde fundera på att döpa om forumet.

www.ädelhumorforum.se kanske? :-)

[Birka]

Hundarna avslöjades med byxorna nere.
De gjorde en pudel.

[Tyr]

Du är så hjulbent, att en gris kan springa mellan benen på dig.

Spring då!